Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Dumb Guy Tips For Avoiding The Bird Flu

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10. "Before eating chicken, soak it in Lysol"
9. "Don't lick unfamiliar pigeons"
8. "Frighten birds by constantly meowing"
7. "Stay away from basketball great Larry Bird"
6. "Anti-bacterial smoothies"
5. "Move to a place where there are no birds, like the moon"
4. "Avoid birds that look like they're up to something"
3. "Go back to the old Y2K bunker, start drinking"
2. "Fill birdfeeder with Sucrets"

1. "If you have a chicken, check for swelling in the McNuggets"

Top Ten Signs Sylvester Stallone Is Too Old To Play Rocky



10. "Instead of triumphantly bounding into the arena, rides in on a Rascal"
9. "Constantly saying, 'Yo, Adrian, get my Lipitor'"
8. "Love interest played by Carol Channing"
7. "The only thing 'Rocky' about him are his kidney stones"
6. "Instead of getting knocked out, Rocky keeps lying down for a nap"
5. "His stunt double: Wilford Brimley"
4. "Constantly complaining 'Rocky' theme is too loud"
3. "After tapping hands with other fighter, says, 'Not so hard!'"
2. "Opponent in 'Rocky VI' is a guy with a cloak and a scythe"

1. "Keeps getting asked out by Anna Nicole Smith"