I do…uh, sometimes…I guess!

"What makes a man or woman marriage material?"

I have a decent amount of male friends, and of those the majority are either married or have been married! In some ways, I’m similar to my friends as far as my actions or my thoughts, but we are still different in tons of ways too! It’s kind of scary looking at those relationships and seeing how their marriages have turned into divorce or a permanent separation. I say permanent separation because neither side seems intent on getting a legal divorce!

Growing up I had this idea of marriage and all the positives that would come from it, such as the his and hers towels, the his and hers cars, and especially the love that I would share with my wife; however, looking at my friends situations has seemed to taint my desire to ever get married! Yeah, I know every person is different and every marriage has its unique problems, but I still have this weird doubting feeling on marriage!

Honestly speaking, I’m not worried about cheating on my wife, because I have enough integrity to give her my all! It’s something else that I just can’t put my finger on that leaves me one step away from being married, and at this point is lack of girlfriend but that’s not really an issue! I guess I’m searching for that girl that actually has my back! Looking at my friends relationships, makes me questions their wives ability to be supportive! Then I look again, and say “What the hell does she see in this ass”! Hey, I’m just keeping it real, because for the most part my friends didn’t attempt to stop cheating until they got married, as if there was an on and off switch!! I can’t speak on their wives level of commitment, but I have my doubts with them as well!

I'm a romantic at heart! Yeah, eventualy I want the white picket fence, the dog, the sexy yet intelligent wife and the little brats, but right now I don't know if I'll ever get the wife part! Playing boyfriend and girlfriend gets old, when you get grown!

Hopefully I can walk in my house and feel like Al Bundy one day...hey, you know he loves the hell out of Peg...besides Peg was sexy! Hey, if Al can do it, maybe there's hope after all!!

Anyhow, the questions become:

1. When should people get married?

• When you have your own house!
  
• When you know that you are truly in love!
  (yeah, love doesn't pay the bills, but I be damn if it doesn't make for a lasting relationship...last time I checked marrying for money, meant you could afford to cheat)
  
• When they have big enough balls or ovaries to tell their parents, despite the known support!!
  
• When graduation doesn't mean you just cleared the way to go up for parole!
  

2. What makes a good wife/husband?

Communication is key! Not merely communication that leads to sex, but when you're actually away from the bed, desk, kitchen counter or secret spot that little Johnny knows about but likes to watch!! If you can't express yourself to your mate, then you probably shouldn't take that leap of faith!

3. Should there be “traditional” roles in marriages?

• The Bible Says
  
  
• Dizzy says: I am the man of my house whether I make millions or peanuts! I shall protect my wife and family with my all! I will treat my wife with the respect that she deserves! She will supply my needs on a regular basis! She shall keep a decent looking hair-do! She will have a spontaneous side for the riske'!! In return, I will provide for her to the best of my ability, and if being a hard working average salary making husband doesn't cut it...then I suggest she get to steppin, before marriage!! I will take out the trash, cut the grass, wax that ass, tell her that I love her, and occassionally surpise her with gifts (flowers, cards, dinner, sex..ya get the point)
  

4. How can you tell if your potential spouse is down for you?

• If she hides you from the family...get ta steppin'
  
• If she hides you from the police after killing the mother in law...she's a keeper!!
  
• If she always want you to order from the drive through...I suggest you trade her in!
  
• If he says, "I just enjoy the late night movie times better than any other times!!" or "I'm the only living memeber of my family left"...time to make his ass truly lonely!!
  

5. When do you give up on a marriage?

• If all your communication starts off with "Bitch you bet not", "Muthafucka, you aint even a man", or "I'm gone get #@$$@# to fuck you up!" Time for talking is over, it's time to get a restraining order and a Lawyer!
  
• If you find yourself on the Jerry Springer show as the surprise guest!

• If you can listen to all of R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" and can relate to any chapter...time to pack up the suit case and find a better CD!!
  

Marriages, ya gotta love'em!!

Until next time...