The Fat Dilemma

The fat dilemma

Now, this type of shyt drives me crazy!

I hate it when people go on diets, just so they can say they’re on diets and then proceed to eat diet food!! Will someone wake these people the hell up!! I don’t mind those who are actually trying to live healthier, so they diet with a sense of true purpose and attempt to change their lives….but these damn people who diet every three months only to find their way back to Ben & Jerry’s and 25 additional pounds between diets!!
C’mon, how can you be on a diet and go to McDonalds and place this order:

““Welcome to McDonalds, how can I help you”

Well, I’m on a diet so, I’ll take a #9, super-sized with a diet coke! Hey, I gotta do my part for the diet gods!!

“Would you like a “You’re a dumb-ass” sticker with that?

No, thanks! I got my own!!”…

WTF, give me a break! If you are serious about losing weight then try working out…that doesn’t include lifting up any utensil to stuff you damn face!!! Greedy bastards. Hey, we all can stand to lose a few pounds, but don’t go camouflaging your weight problems as merely eating problems or family genes!! Get your lazy ass off the couch! Stop watching Sex in the City and Desperate Housewives, and start hitting the gym! Take a walk at lunchtime! Pick up an aerobics class! Hell, take a dancing lesson!! Do something other than quick simple shyt that does not work!

Sure the advertisement said,

“Take this pill and we’ll guarantee you lose thirty pounds in thirty days……you may experience unexpected bowel control, lack of sex drive, shriveled up breasts, and frequent flatuation!!!”””

Oh yeah, don’t worry about the small print, because we want you to try our other pills for an additional thirty days…you idiot!!

Get off the couch and do something that doesn’t include purchasing food or moving to consume food!!



Ten Things that are not considered exercise!

1. Finger pull-ups ( commonly referred to as playing with the remote)

2. Home sprints (or shall I say, walking to the fridge while the TV is on commercials)

3. Push ups - you know the ice cream treat!!!

4. Wrestling- fighting with family members over the last piece of food at the table

5. Note: Hydration generally does not include any carbonated drinks: Diet Cokes or Pepsi.

6. Weight lifting – nope placing the food in the oven does not qualify and taking the food out isn’t considered the cool down

7. Food contest—who can eat the most chili cheese fries from your local Coney Island restaurant isn’t a sport, professionally or amateur. Doesn’t matter if there’s a league for it or not

8. Sex –that’s considering your fat ass is getting any….It doesn’t count!! Okay, yeah, you might get a nice work out…but you’ve probably ingested some form of food in the process to gain those loss calories right back…i.e.…whip cream, or any other flavored cream…it just doesn’t count okay!!

9. Dreams --- if you dream about doing any activity, which you can’t do in reality…doesn’t count! If you dream about swimming and you can’t swim doesn’t count, hell you probably was swimming in a pool filled with gravy any damn way. If you dream it, you will lose the weight…sorry ya gotta do it too

10. Fitness Center—registering for a Bally’s, US Fitness, Fitness USA, Gold’s Gym, or any other place like that doesn’t count if you don’t actually go to the gym more than six times a month!! You have to do work at the gym, and looking at others doesn’t count either!


You can be an Average Joe! Just don’t be disillusioned by your so-called diet and then turn around and wonder why it never works!!! Hey, I’m no body of perfection either, but I’ve accepted reality!! Don’t do diets, just play ball and walk to places that aren’t food related, so hopefully I won’t have to worry about lying to myself about the reasons I would be obese…fucking fat!!! I said that with love!!!

Diets, ya gotta love’em…not really

Change ya life…and watch your body change as well!!

Until Next time…